{"product_id":"battle-ball-paul-plushie","title":"Battle Ball Paul Plushie","description":"\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBEHOLD! THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF MASS CONSUMPTION!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFrom the twisted minds of Pessimist Productions comes \u003cstrong\u003eBATTLE BALL PAUL\u003c\/strong\u003e, the heavily armed, heavily armored, and even more heavily fed instrument of total destruction!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEncased in his technologically advanced spherical war machine, Paul is ready to roll into battle, crush his enemies, and complain bitterly about the entire experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeaturing his signature blue tank top, magnificent beard, permanently disgruntled expression, and two joysticks controlling an arsenal of unimaginable destruction, Battle Ball Paul is the pinnacle of modern warfare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHY YOU NEED BATTLE BALL PAUL:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTactical Superiority:\u003c\/strong\u003e His spherical design makes him an unstoppable force of nature. Downhill, anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdvanced Weaponry:\u003c\/strong\u003e Two joysticks give Paul absolute control over his devastating battle apparatus. What do they actually do? Classified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePsychological Warfare:\u003c\/strong\u003e One look at his face and the enemy knows they're in for three hours of unsolicited opinions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaximum Mass:\u003c\/strong\u003e Built like a tank. Maneuvers like a refrigerator.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnmatched Intimidation:\u003c\/strong\u003e His enemies tremble. His allies despair. His doctor weeps.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether he's defending the last remaining buffet, waging war against his ideological enemies, or simply refusing to get out of his chair, Battle Ball Paul stands ready to answer the call of duty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE BALL IS ROUND. THE MAN IS ROUNDER. THE WAR NEVER ENDS.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: Pillow cover: 100% polyester\u003cbr\u003e.: Pillow filling: 100% polypropylene cotton (not removable for washing)\u003cbr\u003e.: Double sided decoration with mirrored back print\u003cbr\u003e.: Thickness: varies from 1.9'' to 5.91''\u003cbr\u003e.: Comes in 4 sizes\u003cbr\u003e.: White zipper\u003cbr\u003e.: Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e.: Please note: Be aware that mockups do not showcase the final product\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e15.70\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e1.18 - 1.97\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generic brand, two year warranty in the EU and Northern Ireland\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle, *hand wash will extend the quality of the product, Do not bleach, Do not tumble dry, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White zipper","offer_id":50740842168560,"sku":"89128828443480928174","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White zipper","offer_id":50740842201328,"sku":"13431555003725846768","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White zipper","offer_id":50740842234096,"sku":"88994055751136180770","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White zipper","offer_id":50740842266864,"sku":"23566843990723527144","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0671\/0106\/5456\/files\/1227763871980462103_2048.jpg?v=1793958728","url":"https:\/\/pessimist.co\/products\/battle-ball-paul-plushie","provider":"Onion Nuggetz","version":"1.0","type":"link"}