Onion Nuggetz
New Jersey Live Show Blu-Ray *Signed, Personalized Limited Number*
New Jersey Live Show Blu-Ray *Signed, Personalized Limited Number*
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Signed & Personalized Blu-Rays
Kneel, mortal.
For you stand before a relic touched by my divine pulp.
This Signed & Personalized Blu-Ray bears the mark of your Tomato Lord ME, Señor Tomat along with the scribbles of my loyal human servants. Your name shall be inscribed within, forever binding you to my sacred vine.
What I, TOMAT, Bestow Upon You
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The insane scribblings of these meat sacks.
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My servants’ signatures: Weak, trembling mortals who dare to place their ink beside my will.
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A noble, collector-worthy case: Not gilded, not gaudy — but pure, honest physical media, the way our ancestors intended.
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A limited blessing: Only a chosen few will possess this artifact. Fail to claim it, and you shall live with the sour aftertaste of regret.
HEED MY WARNING
Do not hesitate.
Do not delay.
Do not mutter excuses like the soft, seedless tomato-wannabe you risk becoming.
Claim this Blu-Ray now… or suffer my simmering, simmering wrath.
⚠️ Edict of Availability
This holy object is available for pre-order and shall ship in February 2026, assuming you obey and do not anger me further.
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